Angela Ackerman – Show don’t tell pt 1

Sharing characterisations & emotions without telling or info dumps

Do more with less

If you are describing appearance, also include emotional description

Learn to convey information with powerful word structure rather than writing it all out

What does ‘Show, don’t tell’ really mean?

Take your readers on a sensory adventure

Tell

Goal: active storytelling

The dark side of description: the dreaded info dump

The worst offenders:

A character’s physical appearance
Describing emotions – can end up with melodrama or purple prose, and in character’s head so much
Setting and weather description
Necessary information needing to be communicated between characters
Backstory details

Backstory checklist

Three elements to work out if your backstory should be included:

Backstory ties to current action of the scene
The information is needed for readers to gain a deeper understanding of what is at stake
If this information is left out, will the scene be deeply diminished

Backstory is most effective when snippets are sprinkled into the action and narrative

Flashback: going back in time to show backstory as it happens

Language is more active than an infodump usually is

Flashback to delivery backstory: handle with care

only use if absolutely necessary
Get in and get out – no flab allowed
Give it punch – the event should have a huge impact on the current scene and emotions at work
Timing is everything ; build up to reveal and create suspense

Choosing Point of View (POV)

1st person – limited, story is as they experience it
2nd person – reader is the character (eg choose your won adventure books)
3rd person limited – similar to 1st person, but can be more than one character. Must have scene/ chapter break between different POV
Omniscient – narrator is the character

Deep Point Of View

Checklist for deep POV

Remove any filter between reader and character et saw, heard, knew, thought, believed, realised, felt
Be immediate and direct – use VOICE to pull readers into the character’s thoughts and observations (think judgements)
Ensure the reader’s experience comes from INSIDE the character
Don’t name emotions- Deep POV describes what the character feels or conveys emotions thought direct thoughts
Show the emotions as they are experienced rather than describing them – body language, sound of voice
Eg not ‘he broke out in a nervous sweat’, something else like ‘he could feel perspiration forming on his face’ etc

Creating narrative distance: when NOT to use deep POV

Intensity overload – if readers need a break
Genres where distant PVO is normal, or there is a large case of characters
When something distasteful or painful is happening
When the narrator wants readers to pick up on something that the character misses it
Move out of deep POV and create narrative distance when readers need to be made aware of something

Doesn’t have to be one more than the others – different techniques for different scenes

Describing a character’s appearance

The problems:

Getting caught up in the face
Lumps of boring description
Self-describing in 1st person
(to do it in 1st person use emotions etc to describe how they are feeling and let other details leak out. Or use another person in the room as a way of describing what you don’t look like – mirroring situation)
Mirror syndrome
(only use this in a situation where appearance is important to the story – eg checking if disguise is in place, correct etc)
Not knowing which details to choose (or how much)
List-like detail, adjective abuse, cliches and stereotypes

Helpful hints to write fresh

Use symbols (colours, styles, and implied meaning)
Actions always speak loudest
Build an overall image, then hone in on a discrepancy
(eg prim and proper outfit, but edge of a tattoo visible on edge of sleeve)
Use the senses – the small or texture of a character’s hair paints a sensory picture
Choose clear details- a little goes a long way
Us the observations and dialogue of another character
Don’t forget – do more with less

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